ROBERT GAO
emails i can’t send
after Franny Choi
// drafts
// chromatic monologue
there are a thousand / it’s november / ways to say sorry / we’re in retrograde / & none to beg / can you hear me / cross-legged at the konbini / strobe lights dotting out our / sins but i am the aggressor / whisper your jaded sobs / let them consume me / it’s november / we’re in retrograde / you are cross-legged / every kanji is laughing / can you hear me / last week you said / there is a curse they talk about / there is a curse / how your tongue stiffened / how lovely self-sabotage is / how lovely i confuse it for want / how lovely i hunger / how i hunger / i hunger //
// re: all of my euphemisms
what if teeth / did not chew but told / the story of the oppressor / what if you missed my calls / instead of devouring them whole / transient dopamine for / the malnourished i am / an ocean away & you / split your body at your / stomach / half regal / half medusa / just breathe darling / i will not get you / osmosis is near / let the vodka tarnish / contemplate its succulence / there is a time / when wrongs turn white / in this dark nightclub / under this limelight / all rage asphyxiates / turns mouths wet / & the weak crumple //
// fw: we inform you that help is available
greetings faye / we have received your reports / star-crossed lovers / this isn’t Shakespeare’s finest / reply YES if you are victimized / divorced from atonement / reply NO if you are the aggressor / this email is official / note its saw-toothed insignia / reply STOP if there is no continuum / reply STOP if you are converging towards myth / reply BLOCK THIS USER / do not hit SEND //
// dear nostalgists
oh faye / my dear / it’s january / & you still crave / all the world’s vanities / soft vows / haptic security / serendipity in all the wrong ways / oh faye / my marrow isn’t candy / waxen teeth & jowl / transient nutrition for the splintered / it’s january / i suppose it’s only fitting / that i play architect / cyborg maniac / grief renaissance / after all / i engineered your obit / the calm years / the delusional years / the inevitable years / the denouement / O the beauty of epitaphs / when all you see is / the euphoria of the aggressor / man-made blood / & all the dead roses //
Robert Gao is a Chinese-American writer at University Laboratory High School. Nationally recognized by the National YoungArts Foundation, Scholastic Art & Writing Awards, Alliance for Young Writers, and New York Times, his work appears in the National YoungArts Anthology, Best Teen Writing 2022, The Lumiere Review, and Xin Sai Magazine. He is one of the founding members and serves as the Poetry Editor-in-Chief for The Metaphysical Review.