STEPHANIE CHANG

Rafflesia


               poetry finalist in our 2020-2021 Writing Contest

What I can’t say for sure is that the bone sticking out from the blue
has something to do with creation. That you were invented a carcass

of sugarplum and wax, with nobody there
                                                       to stop the rot. The cruelty of it.

For years, salvation was my least favorite color
and Saving Face was my favorite movie. I can remember

you, crying by the sunflower patch. You were beheading each one.

               Each by the nape. I leaned in and took a photo.
                                             (We were dancing, then

                                                                           and didn’t even know it.)

I tried to do away with the flies
               breeding bodies inside your body. I called

my father, who called me a girl
so unaware of her own unmaking. I called

                              the last boy I loved and he said fuck you.

I had forgotten all about the massacre until you pressed
               a jewel of honey on my tongue. No species knows how

to blame a world that’s fallen in love with better
                                                                                    versions of itself.

                              It’s too late anyway. Any language capable of killing you
                              has been dead for centuries. I caught the stench between

                              my teeth and swallowed. You were so pleased

that time I poured hot resin over you. We were so silly
               thinking we could preserve the moment of our meeting.

                                             As if fate would reroute itself that cleanly. In your eyes
                              a fist of oil, pearling or burning. I forget. The records lie. I know.

The oil spills into sunset, sat                                  at the bottom of the well.
Your hands on my face are the most violent                                  shade of red; they are,

               they are. You ask me why people build ruins. Why I’m
still here. Was rain invented to sell more umbrellas?

Of course, I say. I hold the sky
                                                            open

                                                                           for you. Of course I do.

Stephanie Chang is a poet from Vancouver, Canada. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming from The Blue Mesa Review, Adroit Journal, Kenyon Review, Waxwing, and Penn Review. She is the author of NIGHT MARKET IN TECHNICOLOR (Ghost City Press) and edits for Sine Theta Magazine

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